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Learnt straight lived.

When becoming secret —

traces, footsteps,

unflinching rumors,
stories,

rumors for real.

To stay large,

measured the depth

into the tide,

uncovered intelligence

enthusiastic run.

Previously unseen

efforts to shape evidence —

no response.


The stars at night know
Me like the day could
Never do. These little
Lights, a stroke of spirit
Whisking away
Voices of our minds
That tell us we haven’t
Tried hard enough

In the little dark of the
Night, when all quiet,
My face is light. Hidden
Under the caress of
Unforgiving days, I lie
Determined to remmeber
I know better than to
Believe them.

It’s been light years away,
This love of mine
This soul remembrance
Out of dark, it persists


It’s the end of a month of weektime daily coaching conversations. The learnings are aplenty, the questions are numerous and large, the joy and purpose deeply heartening. In this blog post I’m sharing my Biggest Learning and some news.

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Collaborative Coaching Conversations

How do you faciliate collaborative coaching conversations?

This month I met and worked with 17 new people. I coached on topics such as: confidence, efficiency, career changes, job shifts, motivation, procrastination, time management, COVID-19 pressures, purpose.

My Biggest Learning after a month of coaching is the necessity and drive I feel to make coaching accessible: the process itself, the price, myself as Coach. Why? …


A brief sum up of my coaching practice, right now.

This month I was inspired to answer to a couple of questions found in Brap‘s Racism: Learning, Thinking, Practice. Thanks to Enrol Yourself for intro to their work. Last month I wrote in response to a Forbes article on ‘questions to ask a coach before working with them’. Read it here.

What impact do you want to have through doing this work?
• Offer a space where people can practice and live out self-expression, self-honesty, self-respect, in order to impact practical decision-making in work/life
• Bring coaching to people who don’t have access to being listened to fully and/or the time/resources needed to set up this kind of support
• Create the conditions for conversations that create generous possibilities for living and acting in relationship and…


Reflections half-way through a month of daily coaching conversations.

Thank you to those who’ve worked with me in coaching throughout this year, my supervisors, coaches and therapists, the She Leads Change community of coaches, the MOE community of coaches, Enrol Yourself community, the Association of Coaching, Simply Coaching, 3D Coaching, Spectra, my friends, parents and sister, my trans poetry group— for helping me learn, change and connect. This blog post is shaped by all of you.

Breaking the fourth wall — like they do in theatre
I called this blog post breaking the fourth wall, because I want to break the wall in my head that maintains the illusion that as coach I need to bring and/or guarantee answers. Last month I joined a conference on Simplifying Coaching, organised by Simply Coaching. That’s where I heard from Claire Pedrick at 3D Coaching speak about coaching as an insight-oriented process rather a content one. Claire also emphasised building partnership and equity into the coaching relationship through making the process transparent. …


Circle on Compassion with Duanalla and Sr Judith Leckie:
‘How do I hold my suffering today?’
https://www.facebook.com/watch/live/?v=664161881074721&ref=watch_permalink

Sharon Salzberg in conversation with Kirsten Neff:
‘Whose suffering am I holding in my heart today?’
https://art19.com/shows/metta-hour-with-sharon-salzberg/episodes/fc744735-64b5-4038-b0ff-4573e72f30ae

Kirsten Neff self-compassion practice:
‘Who is holding my suffering today?’
https://center4msc-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/GivingandReceivingCompassion_Neff.mp3

I’m Iacob, a certified coach offering space and support for reflection, accountability and structure to explore career, business, jobs and life transitions. Read about my work here. I appreciate suggestions and new learning. Write me on: iacobrbacian@gmail.com.

Book a FREE Coaching call with me this November


Arunthep Sangvareethip
New Normal Mindset — ‘Accepting our humanness AND taking responsibility.’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTPKM5wfWug&feature=youtu.be

Kathy Caprino
4 Ways To Take Accountability For Your Actions (And Why So Many Don’t)
https://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2019/08/18/4-ways-to-take-accountability-for-your-actions-and-why-so-many-dont/#92bd9406dab4

Includes article about toxic (human?!) behaviours, one of which is taking things personally. See next article.

Nick Wignall
6 Psychological Reasons Why You Take Things Too Personally
https://medium.com/personal-growth/6-psychological-reasons-why-you-take-things-too-personally-6c46c21402a1

I’m Iacob, a certified coach offering space and support for reflection, accountability and structure to explore career, business, jobs and life transitions. Read about my work here. I appreciate suggestions and new learning. Write me on: iacobrbacian@gmail.com.

Book a FREE Coaching call with me this November


Padraig O’Tuama
‘There’s rarely a shiny ending.’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ajj_IViAv4

Dr. Gabor Maté & Daniel Maté
‘What is the relationship possible right now, right here?
— working through old narratives to find a fresh start.’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIcppb9mbSc

Diane Musho Hamilton
‘What is your intention for being in this conversation? Can you be for yourself but also for the other? What are you noticing?’

Psyche and Stand Alone
‘What is my role in what is happening? What would radical acceptance of what I am able to bring look like?’

How to Fight Well
‘Skills for navigating conflict.’
https://www.howtofightwell.com/

I’m Iacob, a certified coach offering space and support for reflection, accountability and structure to explore career, business, jobs and life transitions. Read about my work here. I appreciate suggestions and new learning. Write me on: iacobrbacian@gmail.com.

Book a FREE Coaching call with me this November


Responding to Forbes Council Post: 13 Questions to ask a potential coach before partnering up/ A brief sum up of my coaching practice, right now.

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Arthur’s Seat, Edinburgh

1.What will matter the most to you in this relationship?
Holding you accountable to self-honesty, self-respect, and increased tolerance to growth and learning.

2.Am I a good client for you?
You are a good client for me if you prioritize your values and living from that place in a tangible way.

3.Are you the right coach for me?
This will depend on how we click. I believe in being honest about how it feels, what we can adjust, and whether a different coach might be the way to go. …


I asked you to trust me
To see snow in the middle of summer
To feel the salt in the sweetest strawberry.

I looked in the mirror
In my eyes, at the bones,
the lines and creases.

Who will I believe?
Who will I be when I do so?

I let go. I’ve given up on asking for belief.
I asked myself to be gentle
when I meet pity, martyrdom, reason, fear

The path is long and the winter winds are blowing.

About

iacob bacian 🏳️‍🌈 (he/him)

Certified Coach @iacobcoaching/ Panel Coach @sheleadschange / https://linktr.ee/iacobcoaching

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